For those, who think life in Dubai is boring, I would like to share a conversation I had the other day with an internet service provider. There is always room for laughter they say, and looking back it was indeed very funny. Then and there however... 

As a background it's important to know, that I have moved in to a recently built apartment block. As the building was not connected to any of the service providers, the community had been providing internet for some time but it was connected to main lines, free internet was switched off and an e-mail was sent out about this fact - after it was switched off. Brill, but let's not hang up on this detail.

So, here is what happened. I went to the customer service centre of this particular service provider. As a beginning, the token machine was broken, so the guy handed me over a hand written ticket with a number 10. I proceeded to counter 10. A lady was shouting and waiving at me from counter 1 (!) to go over there. Okay, most probably I misunderstood the number on the paper, not the first time numbers on papers don't have any particular meaning.

Taking a seat at the counter and had the following conversation with the 'Junior Sales Consultant Deputy Assistant' 

- Welcome sirmaam, how may I help you?

- Good evening, I would like to subscribe for a package advertised here for home internet and television.

- No problem sirmaam, may I know where you live?

- It is called The Sustainable City, it is near Arabian Ranches 2.

- Sorry sirmaam, I don't know where it is, can you tell me the nearest landmark.

- Yes, no problem, it is near Arabian Ranches 2. 

- Very interesting. Hm. Susable City? Can you write it here? - hands over a paper.

- No problem, here it goes - I write the address on the paper.

I see her struggling, trying to find it on Google maps. Then she tries to find it in their address book as well. A couple of minutes later a 'Senior Sales Consultant Address Specialist' is called over to assist her finding the place. A few sentences on their language and she turns to me smiling:

- Okay sirmaam, what package would you like to subscribe to.

- I would like this package with 20MB/s internet and television.

- Why don't you take 50MB/s subscription if you want to play games?

- I don't want to play games, I need internet for work.

- Uhm. For work? Like Whatsapp and Facebook? Why don't you make a mobile subscription with 6GB data included.

- No, I'm afraid there is a misunderstanding. I would like to have internet at home, with a WiFi network. To work. Like browsing the internet, writing documents, etc.

- Okay sirmaam, may I have your mobile number and Emirates ID?

- Sure - I hand over the document and the mobile number. 

After having typed: - Thank you, can you write me down your e-mail address to this paper?

- No problem - I write it down.

- Thank you sirmaam. Which subscription would you like to take.

- What do you mean? I told you, the one with 20MB/s internet speed.

- Ah yes, of course, but why don't you subscribe to the one with 1GB/s speed, if you subscribe for two years now the first two months are with a promo price. 

- Look, I don't need that for triple the cost, lets stick to the 20MB/s internet.

- Sure, no problem.

After three minutes typing she looks a little worried and tells me:

- Sirmaam, I need to inform you that your address does not exist in our system. Can you give me any working number in your building? A phone number of a shop or your neighbours? 

- No I cannot, how am I supposed to know those? Besides that, here is the e-mail from the development office saying that it is connected to your line, so please check again.

- Yes sirmaam, okay. - Half a minute later - I am sorry sirmaam, but this address is not connected to our line.

- Okay, what to do now? I need internet, I am told it is connected, you are telling me it is not. What now?

 - Sirmaam, it is better if you call the person who sent you this e-mail now and ask what to do exactly. 

- It is 9 p.m., I am not going to call anyone, please check again in your system.

- Okay, so. Susable City

- S-U-S-T-A-I-N-A-B-L-E

- Okay sirmaam, no need to get irritated, I am just doing my job. - A minute later: - Sirmaam, unfortunately our reservation system is actually down since the afternoon. You need to come back tomorrow.

- Excuse me?

- We won't be able to process your application as the system is not working currently.

- Please answer me one question. Why did you keep me entertained for the last 25 minutes if your system is not working? 

- Excuse me sirmaam, I thought it was fixed in the meantime.

- Okay, you know what? never mind, I come back an other day.

And I left the place. 

After arriving home I found a little leaflet from the very same service provider advertising their services in the new area. I smiled and decided to share this story with everyone.

I hope you find it entertaining as I have loads of little stories like this to share. A little exaggerated, a little modified, but the situation happened.